why I trashed my wedding dress

I never intended to keep my wedding dress. in fact, I almost left it in the hotel room the morning after the reception. don't get me wrong - I loved my wedding. but for me it was never about the dress.

when I was shopping for the dress it wasn't one of those TLC show specials. I wasn't trying to find something to pass on to my daughters. I wasn't even trying to find the most beautiful gown or the one that made me feel like a princess. I wanted something that I could move around in, that I wasn't going to trip over or drown in, something I didn't have to lose weight to wear, or worry about tugging into place all night. I wanted people to look at me on my wedding day and say "she looks great in that dress" as opposed to "that dress looks great on her" [for some reason this distinction was very important to me at 25.] and I also didn't want to spend a fortune. we didn't have a huge budget and we chose to put the bulk of it towards food and photography. and I don't regret that decision one bit.

what I remember most about my wedding is not the dress. it's that I was so excited to marry my husband that I made the coordinator start the ceremony 5 minutes early. it's all the love and favorite people I was surrounded by that day. it's that we had so much fun on the dance floor we almost dropped a few thousand dollars on extending the party. these things are burned into my heart - not woven into ivory fabric.

after the wedding, my dress sat in a closet for 2 years. then we moved to Taiwan and it sat in my mother-in-law's basement for another 3 years. since we sorted through all our things this summer [she's moving to Texas and trying to downsize] I decided 5 years was long enough to keep this dress I'll never wear again.

as pragmatic as this all sounds, I didn't want to let the dress go without some kind of commemoration.  I do feel a little weird having a post full of photos of just me. [how do fashion bloggers do this everyday?] but one of my best friends offered to do a trash the dress photoshoot, and it seemed like the perfect send-off. thanks Katie!

the dress was stained [I never had it cleaned after the wedding, oops] and fit a little snug after a month of indulging on all the tasty bits available in the states. but we had ourselves a fun little romp through the countryside. I didn't do any of the crazy paintball/ mudpit/ swimming trashing you see on Pinterest. but I did roll around in a field and climb on the tractor with a beer.

it's been five years and my tastes have certainly changed. fashions have changed too, and with the advent of Pinterest [oh thank goodness my wedding came before Pinterest!] I think people's expectations of weddings have changed as well. would I buy this same dress again? probably not. but it was exactly what I wanted at the time, and I made some great memories wearing it.

some people make a huge deal about their wedding dress. [those people probably think I'm crazy.] honestly there's nothing wrong with loving your wedding dress so much you want to frame it and keep it forever. I'm just not that kind of person. after the photoshoot, we donated the dress - which is why we didn't cover it in paint or mud. I hope someone else is able to wear it and enjoy a day as filled with love and fun and I had.

are you the kind of person who would keep their wedding dress forever? or would you trash it or donate it?

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