old things, new things

it's been a long time since I've blogged after dark. [it's been a long time since I've blogged, period.] back in a past life, I used to sit in my home office late at night and type away with a cat in my lap while Husband was making lesson plans. or sometimes I'd be on the couch with the computer in my lap and Husband asleep watching food network. and even, on occasion, I blogged with both a cat and a computer in my lap.

now my lap is empty. and I'm in my new office, half a world and five years away.

you see, I gave myself permission to create a writing office. I took the smallest nook in our apartment and added a tiny desk and a comfy chair and an extension cord. I even made it official with a planter of succulents. a third of them have died already, so I rearranged and made room for -- of all the things to stick in a planter -- a tiny sleeping charmander.

it's been a long time since I've picked up my camera. four months. and even longer since I've staged an awkward self-photo shoot. [I say awkward not because the photos are awkward, though sometimes they are. I say awkward because I still feel awkward doing it. which probably means I should do it more often, so that it feels less awkward.]

but today I did. I got out my tripod and poured a cup of coffee. not into my most photogenic mug, but into my weirdly adorable Din Tai Fung space dumplings mug. I shot photos and then changed back into stretchy pants and started typing.

the past few months have been rough. [I know, 2016 right?] but I also mean it's been rough for me, personally.

on top of spending a huge amount of time and effort trying to feed myself [a gluten, dairy, egg, nut, shellfish, olive, avocado, pineapple free diet] I wound up with an intestinal bacterial infection last August. it took three months to figure out that it was c. diff. and almost another three months later my system is still dealing with the effects.

to be honest, it's been pretty awful. and it's still not fun. but rather than drag on about this and other misfortunes that have overshadowed the last year... we're moving on.

because there have been some positive things happening lately.

I started writing a novel.

actually writing a novel. about a badass female scientist who is accidentally turned into a vampire. there's blood and romance, mystery and weird science. I'm not comfortable sharing too much of the plot yet, but I've written 22,000 words of it.

I've read both contemporary and historical vampire literature. I've watched online lectures by authors, joined webinars, and poured through writing websites. I've brainstormed and outlined and plotted and covered an entire wall with post-it notes. I've done research and asked google some really strange medical questions. and of course, I've written.

it's been both incredibly challenging and extremely fulfilling.

I am scared and excited and doing my best to just keep writing.

blogging is such a strange thing. the past few months I spent a lot of time thinking about if and when I would do it again, and what would I say? I wrote a dozen posts that were never quite right enough to publish, but I couldn't figure out why. and then the longer I didn't blog, the more it seemed to matter. until I thought maybe I just wouldn't blog again ever.

but today I wanted to blog.

so I decided to just write whatever came to mind. old things, new things. strange things. and this is where we have ended up, for better or worse. I believe this is the place where I write the conclusion and we say goodbye. [but that might just be because I'm hungry.]

like I said, it's been a long time since I've blogged after dark.

until next time, friends. xo.

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