wandering blogger, wild heart

ink + adventure had its third anniversary this week, and I completely missed it.

I think part of the trouble is that my "blogiversary" comes so close on the tail of my own birthday. and the other part is that I feel I've been wandering as of late.

whenever I'm in a transitional period of life, my blog undergoes a bit of an identity crisis. and right now I'm heading in a dozen different directions. somewhere between recovering from New Zealand and planning for the move to Taipei, determining our travels to the US this summer and trying to commit more seriously to writing my book. instead of buckling down and checking off my to-do list, I find myself letting my creativity run wild. I can't even tell you how many kinds of markers and half-finished projects are sprawled across my office. I'm not sure whether to call it distraction, multi-tasking... or to simply admit that I'm aimless.

it is inevitable, for me at least, that this will leak over into my blog. I've always been terrible at hiding my feelings. we all have a right [even as bloggers] to keep certain things personal, but I can't stand when people are dishonest - when they pretend to be other than they are. so I wear my heart on my sleeve, and on my blog.

I tell myself that's why I will never be a mega-blogger, or at least maybe why I don't want to be. because I can't force myself to stick to a particular niche, not completely. I will always have this inner battle between "give them what they want" and "give them what's real." because at heart, I am a wild and passionate creature. I need adventure, and challenge, and the freedom to express my creativity in whatever manner it decides to manifest.

posting about travel gives this blog a place to belong. and I do love traveling. it's a big part of my life and I enjoy sharing it. but my life is more than that. I am more than that. I'm doing the best I can to be myself, authentically and unapologetically. and who I am right now is a woman in the midst of transition, searching for answers about herself and what the future holds.

sometimes I think I should start a personal blog - or revive my old one. but I've done the dueling blogs dance before. it ended in over-compartmentalization and lack of enthusiasm. and I think I can trust my readers to be decision-making adults and skip over any posts that they just don't want to read.

that's not to say I'm going to gush my feelings at you all the time. some of the posts I have scheduled on our New Zealand travels will likely seem dry in comparison. but I'm also not going to apologize for being a complicated and messy person. that's just who I am.

this blog has never truly been strictly travel, or even strictly expat. I went through a few interesting phases before falling into those categories almost by default. over the course of these past 3 years I've shared nail art, DIY projects, handwritten fonts and recipes. [some of these posts still continue to draw the most page views, much as I've tried to focus my wandering ways.]

we've come a long way since my very first post. we meaning both the blog and myself. but looking back at some of those initial thoughts I shared in regards to our move abroad, there are still some words that resonate so strongly I could have written them today. before we even moved to Taiwan,  I wrote about how I was learning that it was ok to not have a plan. that I was excited to embrace the joy of possibility. heck, I even mentioned I might write a book. I haven't crossed everything off my maybe-I-will-do-this list, but that really wasn't what it was ever about.

those posts from my early expat days are so dear to my heart. back before I started keeping a paper journal, this blog was all I had. it's my way to remember my early thoughts on scooting and the first time I tried to write a travel post that didn't sound like a guidebook.  a few things I completely glossed over - the scooter crash hardly gets a paragraph - but for the most part I was writing with as much honesty as I could stomach.

the reason why I started this blog in the first place, was because I wanted a space where I could be myself, wholly and completely. compartmentalizing my life into two URLs just didn't feel right to me, and so I gave both my old blogs up in hopes of creating something that could merge all the aspects of who I was, and give me room to grow into who I would become.

maybe this seems like a strange "anniversary post." or maybe, if you've been reading this blog long enough, it seems eminently appropriate. either way: thanks for sticking along for the ride.

despite the wandering, I think I've kept true to my intentions over the years. which were mostly: to share my life and share it honestly. every day it looks a little different, but that's just because change and growth are part of life. it's all brought me to the place I am today - which is a place I am happy to be. and thanks to the wandering, my wild heart has had the chance to experience so many adventures along the way.

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